The Politics of Breastfeeding in Public
http://thekojonnamdishow.org/shows/2010-06-07/politics-breastfeeding-public
It's the most natural way to feed your baby -- and yet many Americans feel uncomfortable when they see women breastfeeding in public. We'll talk about the issue with a Maryland mom who was recently asked to cover up or leave a local mall while nursing her son.
Guests
Ann-Marie Luciano
Mom who coordinated Saturday's "nurse-in" at the Francis Scott Key Mall in Frederick
Comments
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I hope you will make the clear point that there is nothing obscene about breastfeeding. It is the natural way all mammals feed their babies.
Bottle feeding has its place, of course, but mother's milk is the best source of nourishment for babies, by far, and without question, for so many reasons, so women should be free to breastfeed wherever and whenever their babies need to eat.
When I hear about a woman being told to leave just because she is trying to give her baby what he/she needs, it really makes me feel sad because it shows how far we are from realizing how important breastfeeding is.
There's a big debate over "breast vs bottle" and banning breastfeeding in public only serves to discourage women from breastfeeding, when it's the best thing for the baby if a woman can do it.
Erin Henderschedt
www.BeenThereDoneThatMom.com
www.EveryBabyBook.com
Many mothers are now nursing for a year or more, to the benefit of their children and themselves. (Most who do are highly educated women.) I nursed in a public bathroom exactly once and swore that I would never do it again. It is the responsibility of public accommodations to provide a *sanitary* place for mothers to nurse. How can mothers who are no longer nursing help your movement?
It's really sad. Obviously she was not using her breasts in the correct way - peaking seductively from immodest attire would have caused no distress, and definitely not resulted in her ejection from the mall. More seriously though; my last corporate job had no place for new mothers to pump milk. One woman used the bathroom and we her peers just tried to be aware that she was in there and would go to another rest room. I think there is something really wrong with leaving a woman no alternative but to pump life-giving breast milk in a room used to manage human waste.
I breastfed all 3 of my children until they were about 1years old. I am always amazed that people are uncomfortable with breastfeeding in public because most mom's are discreet about it. What I used to be uncomfortable with was walking through the mall with my then preteenage daughters and have them exposed to the blatent sexual posters of some of the stores selling to teenagers or Victoria secret poster of a young women naked except for underpants and convering herself up with her arms. I do not consider myself a prude when it comes to nudity but our culture is very whacky about what they find offensive. Is it a nurturing mother? Is it the women's breast showing during breastfeeding. If they is the case, why are not people upset about the Victoria secret posters in the mall or the picture of young man's or woman's butt hanging out.
I think this country needs an attitude change about what is good for our children.
A hearty "you go girl!" from me to Ms. Luciano. I find it sad that the three people who complained the first time you breastfed at the mall were women. But I'm glad to know you knew your rights and stood your ground. I hope more mothers will follow your example.
I remember walking through a grocery store, breastfeeding my crying infant. I did have a small blanket draped over my shoulder, but it would not stay in place. No one said anything, but I certainly got a lot of looks.
I am shocked that this happened to you. I thought we, as a society had mostly moved past this issue. But clearly, people can accept a breast pushed up by a bra and half exposed, but not a breast half exposed that is feeding a baby. Seems to me, the latter is the main purpose of a breast. I would have come and supported the sit-in, even though my boys are done breastfeeding.
I applaud your efforts to do what is right and necessary for your child. I applaud your efforts to stand up to one of the points of lunacy in our culture.
Breastfeeding is the most natural and beautiful act of pure love. It has been admired for centuries all over the world. It should be celebrated not frown upon or hidden. Obviously in USA we need a federal law that protects the right of the nursing mothers to feed their babies when and where ever they need to.
1. If you respect and love women (grandmother, mother, sister, cousin, or neice...surely you have one of these) breastfeeding is never an issue ANYWHERE. You see it as simply and as a wonderful thing that a mother and child naturally engages in for love, bonding, and nourishment.
2. A mother and her child should not be inconvenienced because a grown adult cannot handle seeing a woman's breast especially when she is feeding her child. If the said adult is having issues they should seek counseling to find out why they would be sexualizing or feeling threatened because a women is feeding her baby.
3. A mother and her child should not be inconvenienced because a grown adult thinks their child will be harmed or scarred because they see a womens breast in public. Afterall, it was not so long ago that that same child more than likely suckled on a breast for nourshment as well as the grown adult having the momentary lapse in judgment.
4. It's difficult enough being a mother and women should not have to bear someone else's psychological disorder of freaking out because they can not handle seeing a women's breast in a public setting. Why is it that men can go shirtless in public for no apparent reason other than they are perhaps feeling hot and need to cool off and when women that have a purpose and reason to go topless in order to support a life and nourish her child are not given the same freedom? In my opinion, women should be allowed to go shirtless as well wether they are feeding a child or not since men have always had this privilege. The age old argument that men couldn't handle it and women would be "asking" for trouble is just "hogwash". Are men really that weak? I think perhaps just a few are and those few should be locked up if they violate or harm a women because they freak out when exposed to seeing breasts. If we started prosecuting crimes against women and children more seriously and REALLY started truely respecting women this conversation would cease to exist.
5. Women should NEVER have to cover up. People with naked body phobia should be treated for a psychological disorder.
6. Looks like everything worked out well in women and children's favor! http://www.wjla.com/news/stories/0610/743319.html
Both of my daughters-in-law nursed their babies (5 of them) until about 18 months and they could be sitting across from me and sometimes I didn't even realized they were nursing. They just placed a blanket of over their shoulder and the baby. These are very modest women and you could hardly tell that they were nursing. Especially in public! Did the woman in Maryland show her breasts and not cover up? Of course she should cover up!
Of course breastfeeding is natural and itself is not a sexual act. But the breast is also a body part that is inherently involved in the sexual experience and can't be divorced from it. Breasts are both a receptical for feeding babies as well as an object of sexual stimulation. I feel that while mother's have the right to breastfeed in public, I also have (or should have) the right not to have to see a woman's exposed breast. While there are women who would feed more discreetly, there are other's who I believe would have no problem whipping their entire breast out, exposing their nipples and all, in the name of breastfeeding....I think that that is inconsiderate to others using public space. Also, the whole "well just don't look" comment just doesn't fly, because once a person has seen their breast, then they've seen it. There's no "unseeing" the exposed breast after that. Consider a boy who has never seen an exposed breast before. Why should this woman's breast be the first one he sees? Maybe as a mother, I don't want my son exposed to a naked breast at his age (for whatever reason)......As a woman, I support breastfeeding in general and think companies, businesses,etc. should do more to provide facilities for women to do that comfortably and naturally. But I have no desire to see another woman's naked breast (for whatever reason) anymore than I want to see a man's backside that isn't covered completely (you know what I mean). It isn't that its dirty, or shameful, I just don't want to see it and shouldn't be forced to (even for a second)....Everything that is permissible is not necessarily advisible.
An interesting subject - the coincidence of coming across this story as I got back to my office is kinda incredible and not meant to demean the conversation - http://www.boingboing.net/2010/06/07/fatwa-encouraging-ad.html .
Right on, Ann-Marie, for handling this so perfectly.
@ the man who claimed that breastfeeding is a private act (!!) and the man who claimed he'd just stare for as long as he wanted at a woman who insisted on breastfeeding where he might see: if seeing a woman breastfeeding makes you uncomfortable, there is something wrong with you. If you feel you have the right to demand that someone else change to accommodate your needs, particularly when your needs are ridiculous, there is something wrong with you. If seeing interracial couples or people in wheelchairs made you uncomfortable, would you feel you had the right to ask them to put blankets over their heads, or leave?
@bakedalaska: No, she should not "cover up," unless that suits the needs and comfort level of herself and her baby, that's exactly the point. If her outfit was suitable for being in the mall at all, it was suitable for breastfeeding.
@AVAVoter wrote: Sorry, you no more have the right to demand not to see a nursing woman's breast than you have the right to demand not to see nose rings or bad table manners or amputees. And if you venture out into the world, the only one forcing you to see anything is you. The world does not owe you special consideration of what you have any particular desire to see or avoid.
And why SHOULDN'T a nursing mother's breast be the first exposed breast anyone sees? If there's nothing wrong with breastfeeding (and there isn't), that includes the breasts. Biology is what it is; if you can't manage to teach your kids what a woman's breasts are for without feeling uncomfortable about it and then blaming someone else for your discomfort, stay home.
I am glad that enough women are breastfeeding now that this is an issue. As a mom of four breastfed children, I am also glad that my boys have seen me breastfeeding uncovered at home plenty of times. That being said, I do disagree with Ann-Marie's "I am comfortable and you should be too" attitude. I have breastfed in public literally hundreds of times - countless restaurants, the mall, the Mall, museums, the botanical gardens, soccer games, airplanes . . . . I have never been asked stop and I think that is the case because I have always done my best to cover up. I am saddened to see this kind of embattled attitude and hope that it does not make an issue of something that should rarely be an issue if we are considerate of the feelings of others. Ann-Marie spoke of the difficulty of not being able to see the baby. It is easy to purchase a cover-up with a wire sewn into the top seem so that you can see the baby easily while still maintaining privacy.
Moms are feeding children when they need to eat. For very small babies, that typically meants they cannot wait and we must feed them immediately whether nursing or bottle fed. The option is there for me to travel with a crying 2 month old across the mall to the nursing room. I will surely get lots of stares then. The option is there for me to sit at the closest space and feed him. I choose to sit and feed him. I have no intention of doing anything other than that - I am not trying to tempt any one, offend anyone, inconvenience anyone. If I were bottle feeding, I would chose the same close spot and sit to feed my child. All of the other arguments are just about shame. This is about food.
@brianwd...Those poor poor women in Saudi Arabia. Hopefully, someone has stood up to remove those two lunatics from their seats of power.
Kojo, thanks so much for this show, and Ann-Marie, I applaud you. I'm currently pregnant (planning to nurse) and did not know the laws about breast feeding in Maryland. I knew vaguely that it was protected, but I didn't know the extent. I don't know that I will have the same sort of courage to do it in public, but I hope so, because I completely agree that this is important and should be seen as not just a shameless act, but a nurturing one.
I'm pretty chest-heavy and that's been called to my attention ever since I was in high school. It makes me a bit self-conscious, which is why I'm wondering how I'll handle feedings in a few months once the baby is born. Maybe if enough women show that breasts are actually there for feeding (not just as sexual objects), then maybe this wouldn't be as much of an issue anymore - hopefully I can be one of the brave ones.
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If a boy hasn't seen an exposed breast before, what a great opportunity that would be to show him that breasts that breasts are there for a reason. It might help the next generation have a healthier attitude toward breast feeding. Come to think of it, less of the breast gets exposed while feeding than does in most of the advertisement posters outside the lingerie stores at the mall.